A lot of times when people come in to look at our adoption dogs it is because they are looking to replace one they have lost. I have heard tons of stories about dogs that are no longer with us. I always sympathized with people…listening intently and comforting them when needed. Soon I began to wonder how I would handle such a horrible situation but the truth is nothing prepared me for losing my own dog.
If you go a few posts back I told the story of how I adopted Fifi. She stole my heart almost instantly and I knew she was meant to be in my life. Just after midnight on June 22 she took her last breath and the grief that followed was nothing I could have ever expected. The day following her death I couldn’t leave the couch. I didn’t eat. I just cried and cried. It didn’t take long before I got an outpouring of support from friends and family. It meant so much to me that so many people knew how much I loved her and how special she was. The almost 5 years that I had we were practically inseparable and I felt a huge void when she was gone. I wanted nothing more than to hold her again, pet her and smell the fur on the top of her head.
Grief is a strange thing and some days are better than others. There are times when the loss of my sweet baby girl weighs so heavily on me I feel like I can’t breath. But I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything in the world. And I can’t thank Fifi enough for choosing me to be her mom.
Soulmates come in many forms. In romance. In friendship. And yes, even in our pets. Those of us in animal welfare often find those and bring them home. But at some point our homes are full and that means that we meet these amazing animals and have to be okay with the fact that they cannot be yours.
Fran was just that for me. She was a spunky little thing that bonded with me instantly and I felt an insane connection with her that I had only felt with my own two dogs. I would come into work on weekends just to take her hiking or on walks or just to spend time with her. It didn’t take long before I started thinking about adopting her. I knew having three dogs would be hard but I would figure it out. I simply couldn’t imagine her going home with anyone but me. And that is when her future owner came in. He was looking for a companion because he was retiring and he said that Fran was exactly what he was looking for. He visited her for a month before taking her home. I’ll never forget watching her walk out the door. Tears welled up in my eyes and I was shocked how heartbroken I felt. Selfishly I wished that it would have been me taking her home but I knew that she would be extremely loved and spoiled with her new family. So I knew I had to let her go.
I have seen her a couple of times since then. She is happy and totally bonded with her owner. There have been other dogs that I have been close to but none compare to Fran. I’ll always think of her fondly and she’ll have a little piece of my heart.